Holy Cow! It's the single most important election day of your life! What are you doing reading this blog??? Shut down your computer and run, don't walk, to the nearest polling place! What??? You don't know where your nearest polling place is located????
You Ignorant Bastard!!!!
Alright, remain calm. No, wait, remaining calm never got anyone elected.
Panic!!! Run screaming from your office, banging on doors, pulling fire alarms, and knocking things off of your co-workers desks as you scream 'Democracy' at the top of your lungs!!!
Once you are out on the street, accost every person you see who does not appear to be afflicted with Election madness! Grab them firmly with both arms and scream spittily into their terror filled eyes:
"V-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ote!!!!!!"
If said person happens to be wearing a sticker that reads: 'I Voted', immediately reach into your pocket and pull out your favorite combat knife and eviscerate them! They voted, which means they probably voted in the last election and that's what got us into this mess in the first place!!!
Next, find a police officer. Any police officer. It doesn't matter which one. How about that one!
Yes, she does look like the female policeman with the soft and sweet voice from the Police Academy movies. No, I don't remember her name. It's probably not her.
Yes I'm sure it's not her.
Because she was an actress, not a real Chicago police officer.
Well I suppose she could have become a police officer after she retired from acting. She would be a lot older, though.
What was her name, I wonder? I always liked the 'Sweetchuck' guy. He was nice. And funny.
He would make a good mayor.
Oh, yeah, I forgot. Go vote. Or just stay home and watch the Police Academy movies.
Did you know they made five of them?
2 comments:
Hilarious!
haha!!! ur too much!
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